On July 29th, I published a post called “life + death”, which made reference to the recent and tragic death of a UBC student, David Huynh. The purpose of the post was to lament the tragic death of David and to encourage Christians to live a life genuine to the need of the Gospel.
Immediately after publishing it, I received a number of responses from other tumblr users, regarding my post as offensive and inappropriate — particularly in light of his community who is still in shock and mourning and in light of the gravity of my message.
While my initial reaction was defensiveness at people’s accusations of me, I knew that praying and earnestly considering what truth these accusations might hold was necessary.
Truth be told — I hate not being liked. You could say I am needy of other people’s praise. Many say I am ‘well-versed’ and ‘good with words.’ This often inflates my ego and fuels my desire for my words to be taken as ‘true’ and widely agreed upon. Not only do I want people to like me, I want them to agree with what I have to say!Yes, I am no saint; I really am as broken and screwed up as any other person.
I hope as I’ve shared candidly about myself, you would extend me grace. I apologize to anyone whom I hurt through my words — words not carefully chosen and words inappropriate for the time and place.
It was not my intention to come across as condescending or judgmental. I certainly am in no place to judge. It was not my intention to proselytize with fire and brimstone. While my hope is certainly for every person to experience a personal relationship with God, I hope individuals are compelled by their personal acknowledgement for a need of God and His offer of forgiveness, healing, compassion, and love, which leads them to such a decision.
Finally, I want to express that I do not write this apology to ‘repair’ my reputation or my image. Though difficult to do, I am learning not to yearn for the acceptance and praise of men, when I know there is a God who loves me infinitely and accepts me unconditionally. I am on a journey of finding my whole rest and identity to be rooted in Christ, rather than others.
I hope you will accept my apology. I hope your initial impression of who I am — as a Christian — will not mar your perception of Christ. I hope you will find comfort as you mourn the loss of David and find peace in the midst of this tragedy.