East Asia Project begins today. I feel excited and somewhat nervous. It feels a bit surreal. It’s strange to be anticipating something for so long. It’s like you’ve been imagining it in your heart and your mind for so long, but when it’s actually before you and happening, you’re not really sure how you’re suppose to respond. That’s kinda how I feel.

I wanted to leave Vancouver with an “epic” final post, but I’m pretty tired from a long night of packing and an early morning phone call, so my mind’s kinda drawing a blank.

God is good and He is real. His love is never failing and His person is ever-faithful, always reliable. Pray for me. Pray that EAP would stretch me, cause me to fall more deeply in love with God, rely on Him more recklessly, follow Him with total abandonment, and have deeper compassion for His people. I pray also, in your pursuit of God, you would discover and experience the same things. 

See you in a little while :) 

The term is almost over. I have a final project I will hand-in on Tuesday , then I’ll really be done fourth-year. The next day, I’ll leave for a short vacation to the Island with some friends. After that, I have a few days left in Vancouver. My parents will arrive back in the city the day before I leave for East Asia.

It’s starting to feel real (EA that is). Today, I said my first goodbyes/ “see you later’s” to some of my small group peeps. I know I won’t be gone for too long, but summers tend to represent an intermittent period of my life. EAP will go by quickly. 6-weeks of intense evangelism, stepping out in faith, living closely with a few brothers and sisters, in an environment unfamiliar and foreign to me. 

When I get back, I will look for work. Hopefully something that will provide me good work experience for after graduation. There’ll be two months of that; then, my final year of school will begin.

It may be strange that I’m already thinking about the whole summer and even the next school year, when I have yet to finish this one, but life is going fast and changing fast. It’s hard not to think ahead…of how things will look, how things will be different. 

I know it’s not me yet (who’s graduating), but having to say goodbye to friends who are leaving and graduating is starting to feel hard. It’s real.

I realize this is really only a chapter of my life and in hindsight, I will see how it fits in with the big picture, but it’s hard not to think right now is one of the most significant moments of your life. 

Going to East Asia is starting to feel really real. I feel nervous. Saying goodbye to friends is starting to feel real. I am anticipating change and uncertainty. I want to soak in His Spirit and trust wholly in Jesus. 

Would you please keep me in your prayers and intercede on my behalf?

“My heart is stirred by a noble theme as I recite my verses for the king; my tongue is the pen of a skillful writer.” (Ps 45:1)

My new hobby is fountain pens. 

It sucks, when you begin to realize how fleeting the things of your world are. Whether it’s the clothes you wear, the music listen to, or your relationships, your career, the knowledge you’re discovering…things will all eventually lose their lustre; they lose their novelty; people will all eventually disappoint you, fail you; they are limited, and also marred with their own imperfections — just as I am.

There’s a deep longing to find myself in this world. I seek to find myself in the things I own, the people I know and have relationships with, the way I speak and present myself, the knowledge I attain and pass on,  and the dreams and ambitions I chase after. There is confusion and frustration when I don’t meet my own expectations, when others don’t meet my expectations, and when the world doesn’t meet my perception and expectations of what is “right.” 

There is a restlessness in me to find myself: to find peace with myself, with others, with the world, and with God. I look for it in the type of life I believe will give me all of those. 

What is life? What is the life that will give me peace? Who am I? Who in myself with give me the peace and wholeness I long to live with? 

Perhaps, the question rather ought to be ‘who is life?’ Jesus said: “I am the way, the truth, and the life.” 

I pray that I might live shalom. I pray that I may rest fully in the love that stills the furies of my heart and mind, which are ever restless in the pursuit of an eternal abiding peace, but are never satisfied until they are made whole — only fittingly and perfectly filled and made right by the love of Christ, I was made to experience and share.

This old hymn, “As the deer pants,” is a beautiful prayer I have made my prayer. 

I am experiencing healing through the utterance of realities I was always too fearful or too ashamed to admit. 

Paul writes: “For I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God that brings salvation to everyone who believes: first to the Jew, then to the Gentile” (Rm 1:16). Because the gospel is the power of God that brings salvation to me, I am not ashamed of the realities of my life, past and present. It is this power of salvation, this gospel, this good news of Jesus Christ, that redeems me, strips me of shame, and anoints me with the blessing of God.